How Do I Know if Someone Is Attracted To Me?

Contributor: Crystal Schwanke
shy but flirty

How do you know if someone likes you? It's natural to feel nervous or uncertain, especially when your heart is on the line. While some of the signs are obvious, such as if a person asks you on a date, there are subtle clues you can use to detect if someone likes you.

Flirt

Sometimes, the best way to know if someone is attracted to you is to send a flirting signal and see what happens. Try being a little friendlier and see if the person reciprocates your energy. When there is an attraction, both people will feed off that attraction and want more. Just make sure you're not projecting your attraction on to another person. Give an obvious hint and then step back to see if it gets reciprocated. Here are some more ways to know:

Eye Contact

One of the classic examples of attraction is prolonged eye contact. There may be hints of attraction if you catch someone gazing at you. This is also a great way to let someone else know you're interested and available; just don't go overboard and stare too long.

Attracted Is Attractive

Scientific American discusses a study on eye contact and expressing attraction. Not only does eye contact signal their attraction to you, but it serves to make you feel attracted to them as well. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Interested is interesting"? In this case, "Attracted is attractive" because people tend to like the people who find them interesting. The attraction deepens once the eye contact is returned and held. According to another Scientific American article, dilated pupils are another sign of attraction. Dilated pupils can make a woman even more attractive to a man (she comes across as softer and more feminine), though a man's dilated pupils don't always have the same attraction-heightening effect on a woman.

Subtle Looks

The look on a person's face is also a good giveaway. You can often see the spark in eye contact or a smile. However, if a person is too shy, eye contact might be avoided, but once that person does catch your eye, you might notice it's an invitation to come over and talk. Other indicators include:

  • You can feel him looking at you even when you're pretending not to notice.
  • You notice he can't take his eyes off you.
  • You might notice he looks over at you and then quickly turns away.

Body Language

If a person is making a lot of eye contact and leaning in or turning their body toward you, it might signal attraction, according to Psychology Today. Their body language might also show nervousness, such as excess fidgeting or mimicking your movements. You can usually get a feeling based on body language alone whether someone might or might not be interested. Some clues include:

  • The person will find an excuse to touch you just for a second.
  • He will constantly be turned to face you.
  • You might feel a strong sensation to lean in closer to the person based on his body language.

Nonverbal Flirting

When girls feel attraction, they'll often giggle during a conversation whereas guys tend to smile more and appear approachable and open. The University of Kansas explained a study from The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior:

  • Traditional male flirts (those who feel the man should make the first move) are more open and engage in nonverbal cues like leaning in and keeping an open posture.
  • Traditional female flirts reveal their wrists and hands more and gently tease the male.
  • Sincere female flirts offer coy looks and giggle or smile.
  • Both sexes refrained from fidgeting and were attentive to the object of their attraction.

Conversation

Sometimes, when someone likes you, that person will either be really nice or obnoxious. They are trying to get your attention. The person will also want to see you more often and spend time together. Obviously, asking you to hang out or starting a conversation with you might be a hint he's into you. Here are some other things to watch for:

  • Nervousness during the conversation, such as moments of shyness or talking too much. A physical flirt, the study mentions, could like you but feel uncomfortable in one-on-one situations. They do their best flirting surrounded by the energy of busy cafes, nightclubs, and parties and rely more on body language than intimate conversation to express their attraction.
  • Teasing and joking around are often signs of attraction and flirting (sincere flirts, as mentioned above, may do this).
  • The person will want to talk to you one-on-one by asking for your phone number or email.

Don't Over Think It

Unfortunately, it's impossible to know whether or not someone is attracted to you. People might also feel attracted to you, but choose not to act upon it. The best thing to do is enjoy yourself and trust the right person will notice and ask you out. Flirt a little with the people you're interested in and see what happens.

How Do I Know if Someone Is Attracted To Me?