There is an age-old question that asks: how can you tell if a girl is still a virgin? Some people might think there is a clear answer, but there is really only one way to know.
Can You Actually Tell if a Girl Is Still a Virgin?
Despite a lot of the myths out there about virginity, if you are wondering how you can tell if a girl is still a virgin, the only way to know for sure is to ask her. Not even an examination by a doctor can confirm if a girl has had sex in the past. The same is true for guys. Don't fool yourself into trying some sort of trick or evaluation. Everyone's bodies are so different, there is really no for sure way to know unless a girl tells you the honest truth.
Despite the fact that her answer is the only way to know, there are still a lot of cultures that believe you can tell if a girl is a virgin. One myth is that if a girl's hymen is intact she is still a virgin. The hymen is a thin mucous membrane of skin that surrounds or partially covers the opening to the vagina. During sexual intercourse the hymen can sometimes break and tear, causing some pain and light bleeding, but many girls don't have this happen at all. The hymen can also break through a lot of other means, such as vigorous sports like bike riding or gymnastics, using tampons, or through growth and development of her body. Some girls never have their hymen break at all.
Other Myths About Virginity
Here are some other myths about virginity:
- Once you are a certain age, you likely have had sex. This is not true to any extent. Some girls and guys don't lose their virginity until they are well into adulthood while others have it happen earlier.
- A girl looks different after she has sex. Girls who are sexually active look exactly like girls who are virgins. There is no way to know by looking at her (i.e., her breasts don't grow larger, she doesn't walk any different, etc.).
- A girl who is a virgin is shy or a prude. Many guys and girls would be surprised at which people are virgins and which are not. Many girls who date a lot, have boyfriends and are known as flirts are still virgins.
- A girl will seem to know more about sex after losing her virginity. While some behaviors may change after one has had sex, this is not the same for everyone. This is especially true after the first time as there are so many unknowns about sex until you have been having sex for a long time.
Dealing With First Time Sex
As you can see, answering the question about how can you tell if a girl is still a virgin, is a very personal one. The answer may be just as private as what goes on during sex. Losing your virginity may be slightly uncomfortable or painful, or there may be no discomfort at all. Certain positions can be more of less comfortable, so experimenting with what feels good for her can make the experience better for both people. Feeling relaxed can help ease nerves and reduce the possibility of pain.
Tips for Approaching a Girl About Her Virginity
- Don't rush it. Go slow about talking about sex, especially if you suspect it is a girl's first time. This is not a time to rush into sex or force penetration. Be patient and make sure you are totally comfortable and ready.
- Use lubrication: If you suspect a girl is a virgin, using a personal lubricant can also help make sex more pleasant.
- Wear a condom: Using a condom is not only a way to prevent pregnancy, but it's also important for protection from STDs. If you are going to be sexually active, make sure you have condoms or another form of birth control ready. Also, be ready to put on a condom early. Don't wait until after penetration; it's not worth the risk.
- Take it slow: If you're concerned about painful sex or blood, take it slow the first time and consider putting a towel under you. Sex can be messy, but you will enjoy it more if you are prepared.
There is nothing wrong with remaining a virgin. First time sex can be wonderful as long as you are ready, both physically and emotionally. This might mean waiting until after marriage or until you are in a stable, trusting, and loving relationship.