Have your Cake and Eat It Too

Can you Have your Cake and Eat it Too?

Reader Question

Hey Lori. I need advice. I truly like a boy. I just met him a couple of days ago. But we are exactly the same. We have the same likes and dislikes. I find him attractive as well. I want to start making my move on him. But there is a problem. I have a boyfriend. I'm not sure my relationship is going too well. I really don't want to forget him and break-up. I care about him too. I might have to come to the decision of cheating. What do you think I should do? Plus, how do you believe I should start my move on this crush I have?

-- Contributed by: gaby

Expert Reply

Dear Gaby,

It sounds like you want your cake and eat it too. You want to keep your boyfriend and you want the new guy. I would agree that there is a problem with the relationship between you and your boyfriend, you stopped being all that into him. This is why the new guy caught your attention. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about your current boyfriend, it just means the excitement between the two of you is fizzling. If you start a new relationship before you end the current one, it is unlikely you can give the new guy all your attention. As a result, he may feel you aren’t all that into him and move on. In the end you will have lost two relationships.

One major problem with cheating, even though it is exciting, is that someone always gets hurt. The second problem is that when people find out that you were the one who cheated, you’re the one who gets a bad reputation as a girl who can’t be trusted. This bad rap can hurt your chances with great guys who won’t find the reputation attractive and will avoid you like the plague. No guy, no matter how attractive or how much you have in common is worth the bad rap. My advice to you is to end one relationship before beginning a new one.

~~Lori