Getting to Know You Questions

Crystal Schwanke
getting to know you

When you first meet someone who interests you, it's common to be infatuated, but over time, you want to get to know the person better and have some honest conversations. There are a million things to ask a person, but the most important questions depend on the stage of the relationship and where you want it to go.

First Date Questions

Getting to know someone is an adventure in itself! As you learn about each other, it's fun to ask silly questions and laugh together. These questions will give you a sense if you're on the same page together. Just make sure your relationship isn't all about asking questions. Get out there and share some memorable activities too!

  1. If you could have any superhero power, what would it be?
  2. Would you ever be naked in public?
  3. If you could have any career, what would you choose?
  4. What's the best gift anyone has ever given you?
  5. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
  6. If you were going to sing karaoke what song would you choose?
  7. What is your favorite movie and why?
  8. Where is your ideal vacation spot?
  9. Who is your favorite person in the world?
  10. What makes you feel most alive?
  11. What's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for you, and why did it mean so much to you?
  12. What's the craziest thing you hope to do one day?
  13. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
  14. Are you a dog person or a cat person?
  15. Do you like to plan things out or do you prefer to be more spontaneous?

Questions for Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Now that you've been dating for a while, here are some questions to use when things are heating up. You can also try some questions to test your compatibility. Remember, you're not interrogating your partner. Bring up these questions naturally in conversations and over time as your relationship progresses.

  1. Have you ever been in love?
  2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
  3. What does a successful relationship look like to you?
  4. What happened in your last relationship?
  5. Are you friends with your former boyfriends or girlfriends?
  6. What has been the best decision you've ever made?
  7. What was your first impression of me?
  8. What is your biggest fantasy?
  9. What is your biggest fear?
  10. Is there anything about yourself you would change?
  11. What is something you like to do that other people would probably consider "weird" if they knew?
  12. What is one thing you've done (or not done) that you regret?
  13. If I were to give you a free pass to go on a date with a celebrity, who would it be and why?
  14. What was your parents' relationship like?
  15. How was your relationship with your siblings?

Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Before walking down the wedding aisle, you'll want to have covered some basic questions on top of all the ones you went through while getting to know one another in the early stages of your relationship. These are a little more serious but just as important for a satisfying long-term relationship that leads to marriage.

  1. Do you want to have children?
  2. Do you want a big family or a small one?
  3. What are your religious or spiritual beliefs?
  4. Where do you see yourself living when you're older?
  5. Do you like your current career or want to change it?
  6. How important is it to you to be faithful?
  7. Are you satisfied with our sex life?
  8. Do you have any debt or money problems?
  9. How often do you drink?
  10. What are your reasons for wanting to get married?
  11. Will you want one parent to stay home with the kids, or do you think day care (or a nanny) is the way to go?
  12. What do you think is the secret to a long, mostly happy (every couple has their moments!) marriage?
  13. What is your love language? How do you express love in a relationship and what makes you feel loved?
  14. How do you cope with hard times in life (i.e. grief, job loss, family stress, lack of sleep, periods of overwhelming responsibilities)?
  15. Is there anything from your past that could become an issue for us in the future?

Mix Silly and Serious Questions

There are both fun and serious questions you can discuss as you're getting to know each other. Just make sure you get to know about the obvious things, as well as the stuff underneath the surface. Together, you'll be prepared to give your best to the relationship.

Getting to Know You Questions