Part of the joy of dating is the early stages, full of laughter and fun questions to get to know someone better. This is the time filled with new relationship energy, the time when people can't stop smiling because of the delight as they find out new things about the object of their affections.
Don't Just Say Anything
However, as fun as this can be, there is also an element of shyness that often creeps in, the awkwardness of self-doubt when this "getting-to-know-you" time is going on. There's the nagging fear of saying the wrong thing, whether that be because of some faux-pas or (perhaps worse) just saying something boring. "What if this person doesn't find me as interesting as I find them?" might be going through a person's head, and that's when some forethought can really help.
It's worth it to take the time before a date (or before a party, even) to come up with some unusual but fun questions to get to know someone in a different way than everyone else. This helps you stand out in their mind, and can lead to further discussions. One great way to be considered a great listener is to lead the conversation into your partner talking all about themselves. Everybody likes to be the focus of attention, so make sure your questions reflect that - not "How do you like my tie?" but "Where did you find those shoes? They match your dress perfectly!"
Techniques for Asking Fun Questions to Get to Know Someone
There are two parts to asking good questions: first, coming up with the questions, and second, the way you ask them. For the first, try something light and unusual, like these:
- What is your favorite flavor of jellybean?
- What's your favorite Christmas movie?
- If you could live in any period of history, when would it be?
- Tell me 10 things that I'd see when I walk in your door?
- What kind of celebration would there be on a "St. YOU" day?
- Who would play you in a movie about your life? Who would play me?
- Give me three words that describe you.
- What was the best birthday you ever had?
- If you were a ghost, where would you haunt?
- What kind of car did you wish you had when you were a kid? What about now?
- If you had to make an iPod playlist named after me, what songs would be on it?
The last example also provides the opportunity for a sharing of information, as the natural follow up is for you to show them your iPod playlist. However, this is where the "how" of asking a question comes into play. While you don't want to be an interrogator, asking question after question, make sure to inevitably lead the conversation back around to them, and ask another fun question. It's also a good idea to keep your questions open-ended, so that it takes more than a "yes-no" or one-word answer to respond. If it is a short answer, such as a movie title, follow it up with "Why did you like that movie?" and let them talk about it.
The key is that fun questions can only come if your conversation is like a friendly game of catch, with the ball going back and forth between you, letting the other person catch your easy throws, stretch themselves for the challenging ones, and then throw something back to you. As you get more and more familiar with each others conversation style and personality, the questions and conversations can get more esoteric and daring. A fun question is a question that makes the person think, and gives them the opportunity to express themselves to an eager audience: you. .