First Kisses

Marcelina Hardy, MSEd, BCC
couple kissing

It's time for your first kiss. Don't sweat it. It's not as hard as you think. Once you do it a few times, you'll think back and wonder, "What in the world was I so nervous about to begin with..." The trick is to get by the first-time jitters.

Your First Kiss Fears

If you're having some anxiety about your first kiss, you aren't alone. Everyone has some fear when it comes time to pucker up for the first time. What do most people worry about?

  • Will he or she think I am a good kisser?
  • What if it's unexpected and my breath smells bad?
  • I have never kissed anyone. I don't even know what to do.
  • How will I know he or she wants to kiss me?
  • What if we bump heads? Which way do I turn my head?
  • How much tongue do I use? Do I use my tongue?
  • Where do I put my hands?
  • How long do I kiss for? How will I know when to stop?
  • When do I turn my head during a kiss? Do I turn my head?

It's okay. You won't have to know everything about kissing when you kiss for the first time because guess what? Your first kiss won't be a 20 minute make-out session.

You will most likely have a five second (if that) kissing session that will consist of two lips puckered that touch each other with some suction. That's it. You'll release, look into each other's eyes and you'll think it's magical. Your kissing partner will probably think it's pretty awesome too.

While this may seem pretty simple, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be armed with some tips before you enter your first kissing experience.

The Lowdown on Your First Kiss

It's time for some kissing education. While this prepares you to kiss for the first time, the best way to perfect your kissing technique is to do it. Practice makes perfect - so once you know how to kiss, don't be afraid to pucker up when the moment calls for it.

Now, for your lesson on kissing.

Lesson #1: Invest in Mints

Have mints on hands at all times. You can easily swallow a mint when you're about to kiss someone. That way, you can be assured that your breath is fresh and clean.

Lesson #2: How to Know When to Kiss

You'll know someone wants to kiss you when the person looks deeply into your eyes and leans into you. You'll feel it inside you that there's something about to happen. If you start leaning into the person, and he or she doesn't step back or lean back, you know it's time...a special time for a kiss.

Lesson #3: Imagine Kissing

Right now, try it. Imagine kissing the person you think you'll be kissing for the first time. Pay attention to where your hands will go.

Usually, they go on the person's waist, or if you're embracing, in the middle of your partner's back. If you are sitting next to each other, it's okay to hold his or her hand(s), or place a hand on the arm, or upper thigh.

Lesson #4: Relax Your Body

Take a deep breath and let it all out, so your body is relaxed. If you are too uptight, your lips will remain tight, and your kissing partner will feel that. Remember, you can do this.

Lesson #5: Move Slowly Into the Kiss

couple about to kiss

To resolve your anxiety about which way to move your head, move in slowly for the kiss. That way, you can watch which way the person you are kissing is moving his or her head, and you can turn the opposite way. See, if you go too quickly, you may go the say way, and then BAM - knocked heads. It will make it more special if you move more slowly too.

Moving slowly into the kiss will also give you time to prepare you to form your mouth for the kiss. Don't start puckering when you are a foot from the other person. When you're about five inches or so, open your mouth slightly and pucker up a little. It's not exactly a classic pucker when you are romantically kissing, it's more of a loose pucker.

Lesson #6: Close Your Eyes

Some people don't close their eyes, but some kissing partners are spooked by that. So for the sake of not running off your first kissing partner, just close your eyes when you lock your lips. Someday, if it makes you too uncomfortable to close your eyes, you can take a stand and just keep them open. It's up to your kissing partner to deal with it if he or she doesn't like it.

Lesson #7: No Need to Turn Your Head or Use Tongue

Good news! For your first kiss, you don't need to turn your head. Actually, when you turn your head, it's really more than one kiss. You are actually releasing a little when you turn your head during a kiss. You kiss, stop a little, turn your head and continuing kissing. That's for another lesson though.

You also don't need to use your tongue. That's for more experienced kissers.

Lesson #8: Savor the Moment and Slowly Let Go

Once you lock your lips, savor the moment. You've done it! You are in your first kiss - AH! How awesome is that?

When does it end? No need to count. Just wait a little and then slowly move your head back a little. Your kissing partner will understand that the kissing is over and move his or her head back too.

As you move back, slowly open your head, look into the eyes of your kissing partner and smile.

Bonus Tip:

Sneak in a quick little kiss once you separate from the lips. It's cute and shows that you really liked the kiss. It will send an extra little shiver down his or her spine.

You're Ready for Your Kiss

You have the knowledge now to kiss someone and with this knowledge, you have the power. Take it and use it to create one of the most memorable moments of your life. Your fears will soon be behind you as soon as you have your first ever kiss. You'll have to do it sometimes, so it might as well be now.

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First Kisses