Discussion about Online Dating Services

From LoveToKnow Dating

Let’s have a discussion about online dating services. Do you really know how to use them? Chances are, even if you think you have a good feel for how they work, you could still learn a thing or two. Learn some tips from someone who worked for an online dating company.

Photos in Your Profile

No matter what you look like — beautiful, not so beautiful and everywhere in between — you must post a photo. Having multiple photos is even better. There are a couple reasons for this:

People with photos will find it much easier to have contact with other users. Some members will refuse to look at profiles without photos.

LoveToKnow Dating Tips
Use Multiple Dating Services
Using multiple dating services is a good idea. You'll have access to more people than if you use only one dating service. If it's too difficult to manage several services at once, use only one for a while and then try the next when you're ready.

You are going to have to be seen at some time. Why hide what you look like? You may be afraid of rejection, but you only face appearance-rejection if you hide your photo. How would you feel if you talked with someone for a month, then showed your photo and never heard from him or her again? By showing your photo at the beginning, you know that anyone who talks with you is at least moderately attracted.

How to View Photos

Most people post photos that are unflattering. Whether it’s poor lighting or bad angles, many people look far better in person than in their photo. Keep this in mind when browsing profiles.

What if I’m Really Good Looking?

It’s true that men and women who are very beautiful will be contacted by people solely on appearance. If you choose to hide your photo to prevent this, you will be contacted less often than you should be. The best solution is to choose photos that hide your beauty as much as possible.

Writing Your Profile

The next biggest mistake people make is writing poor profiles. The mistakes are many — from writing too little or too much, to not being detailed enough. Remember that you are marketing yourself. Your profile is how you make a first impression. You only have several moments or less to impress a reader.

How can you make your profile better? Start by having your friends and family read it. Ask them how well it describes you. Then ask if you have missed any details. Next, read closely those profiles that attract you and borrow their style, tone and level of detail.

Be Detailed

Someone searching profiles is looking for a connection — for chemistry. The only way they can determine if there is a spark is if you write enough detail. Often people will write that they enjoy television and movies and leave it at that. You need to be more specific! List your favorite shows or flicks and describe why you like them. Even if someone doesn’t like the same activities you enjoy, if they know why you like them, they can see deeper into your personality.

Profile Tips for Men

Men usually make the mistake of writing very little. Guys — you need to write more. Women value what you write more than your photo. They also usually take the time to write more in their profiles, and they expect the same from men.

Profile Tips for Women

Being wordy is usually not a problem for women. However, frequently a woman’s profile will focus too much on how much she likes kids and spending time with her family. Men assume this of nearly all women — so they are looking for other distinguishing personality traits or interests when reading your profile.

Be Patient

Just because there are many people online, it doesn’t mean you will have instant success. Being patient with the process will help you avoid feeling frustrated. You may need to take a break once in a while. You may need to let your subscriptions lapse with some services. But when you are feeling ready to try again, come back online and see what happens. Remember that every day someone new is joining an online dating service.

Contact Speed

No discussion about online dating services would be complete without mentioning contact speed. People have wildly different schedules and computer-use habits. So, don’t judge someone’s interest in you by how quickly they respond to your questions or e-mails. If someone truly wants to get to know you, they will find a way to respond to your messages, even if takes longer than you would like.

Compatibility

Many services are using compatibility as a means to help you find a match. In the case of eHarmony, they will only let you see users who they deem compatible. The science behind the personality tests has merit, but the tests themselves are insufficient to be thoroughly accurate. Even if they asked an exhaustive number of questions, a test will still never be able to predict chemistry between two people.

Look at compatibility much like those career aptitude tests you took in school. The aptitude test may have determined your ideal career is a doctor — but it doesn’t know if you are terrified of blood.

So, use compatibility tests as a guide or a starting point, but realize not everyone will be a great match.