Dating Agencies

The Purpose Behind Dating Agencies

Dating agencies are the modern version of old-fashioned matchmakers. Years ago, Jewish communities had elder women who helped make matches between the young men and women of the village. It's traditional in India for Hindu parents to find mates for their children, comparing notes with other community members to match their sons and daughters with the right wife or husband.

But in modern-day America, we're usually on our own. Single men and women are expected to date, find the right person, and negotiate a relationship that may or may not lead to marriage. The proliferation of online dating sites hints at how difficult this can be. If you haven't found your perfect match at school, work, the gym, or through your religion and hobbies, where do you turn?

Some people choose a dating agency. Agencies collect information about their clients and then do their best to match them up with people they might like.

Finding a Dating Agency

Dating agencies come in all shapes and sizes. Here are some of the standard types:

• Religious - agencies dedicated to pairing up couples within the same religion.
• Financial - agencies that work only with the wealthy, with fees that tend to be very high. Some of these agencies will match their clients with people of lesser means; usually, they pair rich men with beautiful, but not necessarily wealthy, women.
• Education-based - at least one agency, The Right Stuff, is open only to graduates of certain colleges and universities.
• Work-oriented - some agencies cater to working professionals, who feel they are too busy to find a date.

The best way to find a dating agency is by word of mouth and reputation. Ask friends and family members and keep an ear out for success stories. Some agencies, such as Great Expectations and It's Just Lunch, advertise frequently. You might see a commercial on TV or get a brochure in your mailbox. It's Just Lunch is franchised, which means that offices in different places have different owners, so it's hard to know how good the service will be in various locations.

How It Works

Some agencies do little more than a basic screening and then let clients choose their dates in a system similar to online dating. Others do personal interviews and psychological tests, then listen to your opinion of each date and share relationship feedback with you.

Ideally, a dating agency should provide you with your own personal matchmaker, who will listen to what you're truly looking for. The matchmaker should be familiar with other clients' requirements and wish lists, too, so you aren't paired up with someone who was expecting a 6' tall marathon runner when you're 5'5" and don't even own running shoes.

Over the next several weeks or months, depending on the service, the matchmaker should contact you with potential dates. If you and the other person are both interested, the matchmaker will put you in touch. Some services even arrange the location of the date; most of the time, you'll do that yourself.

After the date is over, you'll call the matchmaker to let him or her know how it went. That way, your dating agency can tailor future matches to better suit you.

What It Costs

Fees range widely. The Right Stuff charges in the range of $75 for six months, for what's essentially a dating site with a few extra services. Valenti International, offering services to clients who have "incomes in the seven figures," doesn't even state their prices — but you can be sure they're high. For people of more modest means, fees might range from several hundred to a few thousand dollars, for a guaranteed length of time or number of dates.

Getting What You Want

You'll need to work with the dating agency to help them meet your needs. Remember, people aren't mail-order: you can't just make a list and expect someone to meet it. If you trust the matchmaker, give each date a chance to show you why the matchmaker chose them. If you don't trust the matchmaker — if dates are wildly different from what you asked for, if they're pairing you with high-school dropouts when you asked to meet college grads — you may need to find someone else to work with or ask for your money back.