Dating Advice

No Slick Moves

Try not to pull any "moves", and you'll have greater dating success. The yawn, stretch and put your arm around her thing only seems slick in movies.

Be Yourself

It's easier said than done, but don't be nervous! Just try to remember to let your personality shine through. If you have a sense of humor, crack jokes. Tell your date about the funny thing that happened to you last weekend or about how your dog got into your pantry and ate a whole bag of jellybeans, only to go tearing through the house ten minutes later on a sugar high. You may even want to make a list of topics and keep it in your pocket for when there's a lull in conversation. It'll put you at ease to know you have a lot of things to talk about if the conversation doesn't magically happen.

Skip Dinner and a Movie

When you ask your friends for suggestions, most of their dating advice will involve the traditional dinner and a movie, which isn't always the best idea. Conversation is necessarily limited, and it can be awkward eating in front of someone you hope to impress. Instead, go somewhere non-threatening on your first date--and even your second if you like each other but still feel shy.

Sports parks can be a fun place for a first date. You can challenge each other to pool or go-carts, maybe even putt-putt golf. This type of date is better because you don't HAVE to talk, but you can. And there's something in front of you to talk about. If one of you hits the ball over the bushes and into the street in a bad swing of a putter, oops! Have a laugh. Activities that keep you challenged and moving will be a good medium ground for getting to know each other.

The Goodnight Kiss

At the end of the night, if you're not feeling like sharing a kiss, don't kiss. If you are feeling like moving in for a kiss, go for it. Go where the night takes you. As long as you're both comfortable, there is no dating advice or set rules that can tell you for sure what you should or shouldn't do. Use your judgment, and take care in reading the other person. For hints, you can check out Boundaries in Dating but remember, it's all up to you and your date.

For Men

You know, the easiest way to get dating advice for pleasing women may just be to sit down and watch all the seasons of Sex and the City. Not so appetizing? Ok. We'll break it down for you.

• The Carrie Rule: Don't string her along with big, fancy words, cars and promises. Mr. Big may have gotten the girl in the end, but you probably won't. Girls worth dating in real life don't have that kind of patience, time or disrespect for themselves.
• The Miranda Rule: If you're not interested, don't say you're going to call. Don't go up to her apartment for a one-nighter if you think she wants more than that. Just thank her for the evening and be on your way. If you didn't like her, you didn't like her. It's okay. By the end of the date, you'll know if there's going to be a second one.
• The Samantha Rule: There are girls out there who want a no-strings-attached date and romp. They're not necessarily sleazy; they just don't want to take you home to meet their mom any more than you want to take them home to meet yours. Dismiss stereotypes that girls just want to be a Mrs. and then their lives will be complete. Have fun with them if you want, if that's all they want from you.
• The Charlotte Rule: This girl is the old-fashioned type and wants to be treated like a princess. She wants to meet your mom. She wants a house, a dog and a baby--adopted from China or otherwise. If you have one of these girls and you think you may be ready to settle down, by all means pursue the relationship if you're interested. If you know you're not and you just want to have fun, the Charlotte Rule says don't waste her time.

For Women

Be yourself. If you're not dumb, don't play dumb. Men like women who can carry on a real, adult conversation. Challenge their minds. Be who you truly are--not who you think he wants you to be. Women often try to be pleasers, molding themselves to what they think others expect them to be. You know what? It's much easier just to be who you are and find someone compatible based on that. There's no need to collect a string of admirers who all think you're someone you're not. That's just being dishonest.

Don't let it all hang out right up front. That goes for your dress and your private life. Dress somewhat conservatively, so there's something left to his imagination. Definitely don't air your personal life on a first date. He doesn't need to know what your therapist says or how your best friend betrayed you yesterday. He's on this date to get to know you and have fun. Bogging a conversation down with past boyfriend stories and my-dad's-in-jail woes won't score you a second date. Keep the conversation light. Once you're more intimate with each other, you can start letting him see the skeletons you keep stored in your closet.

Dating Advice for Everyone

Dating isn't hard. It's just a matter of remembering who you are. Don't push the limits. Just focus on getting to know this wonderful person you're with. As the old saying goes, "Interested is Interesting." That's probably the best dating advice out there.

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