Date Rape

Women’s Vulnerability

Date rape happens to women of all ages and backgrounds. Women tend to make the mistake of letting down their guard with people they know, putting themselves at a higher risk. The first step in raising your radar, is accepting your vulnerability. Assume you are helpless and no one will protect you.

Important factors that lead to weakness are:

• False Security – Believing and trusting everyone, feeling safe without taking obvious precautions.
• Quick Intimacy – Wishful thinking and a strong desire to find your love can lead you down a path of disaster.
• Deceptive Appearances – Even a well-dressed professional man can be a rapist.
• Drugs and Alcohol – The number one factor in most date rapes is impaired judgment. Stay sharp and avoid putting yourself at an unnecessary disadvantage.

Warning Signs in Men

For the potential victim, watch for these warning signs in your date partners:

• Pushing intimacy too early
• Overly charming
• Providing too many personal details early in a relationship to entice your trust
• Lying
• Pushes past your no’s, even for the little things like having a bite of dessert
• Buying elaborate expensive gifts with an expectation of return affection
• Controlling of your relationship and dates
• Generally derogatory toward women

Date Rape Prevention

Prevention involves education. Study these warning signs and learn how to avoid hazardous situations. Use some basic self defense and listen to your inner guidance. Follow the subsequent prevention strategies:

• Employ Smart Communication – No means no, say it firmly and clearly.
• Sexual Assertion – Be upfront in your sexual expectations and avoid coy tactics.
• Honest Body Language – Step outside yourself and watch. Are you sending mixed singles to others? Do you want men to be attracted, but also want them to keep their distance?
• Keep Social – Even when dating exclusively, let your friends and family get to know your partner.
• Avoid Isolation – Especially in early dates or first encounters, avoid being completely alone with your date.
• Eliminate Alcohol and Drug Use
• Always Carry a Cell Phone – and use it!
• Classes - Enroll in a self defense course.
• Trust your Instincts – Believe in yourself and act quickly.

Date Rape Drugs

There are three main types of drugs that when combined with an alcoholic drink, will cause a loss of muscle control and consciousness. Known as date rape drugs, they have received plenty of media attention. The drug’s effects set in quickly, so the only protection is to avoid accidental ingestion. When in a party situation, at a bar, or even a first date, guard your drink. Ideally avoid alcohol all together, but also never let someone else “watch” your drink while you use the restroom or offer to go get a drink for you.

After an Assault

Rape is never the victims fault. It is a serious crime with long term consequences. Date rape is even more confusing. Doubt and questions often arise in an acquaintance assault. Remember, physical force is not necessary in a date rape situation. Simply the threat of violence or fear can lead to a date rape. Once sexual penetration happens after the words “no,” it is rape - plain and simple.

Date rape is a traumatic event and should never be taken lightly. If you have been a victim, it is important to do the following immediately after an assault:

• Get to safety.
• Call and report the crime.
• Don’t change clothes, bathe, or even use the bathroom if possible.
• Seek medical help.
• Contact a local rape crisis center.

A recovering victim of any kind of rape situation needs continuing guidance to rebuild self esteem and trust. Seek out counseling, support groups, or Internet sites to start down a healing path.