Date Rape
From LoveToKnow Dating
Date rape is very real. Statistics show you are five times as likely to be sexually assaulted by an acquaintance then a stranger. This translates into 82% of reported rapes are performed by someone known to the victim. Regardless of the length of your relationship, forced sex is rape, end of story.
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Women’s Vulnerability
Date rape happens to women of all ages and backgrounds. Women tend to make the mistake of letting down their guard with people they know, putting themselves at a higher risk. The first step in raising your radar, is accepting your vulnerability. Assume you are helpless and no one will protect you.
Important factors that lead to weakness are:
- False Security – Believing and trusting everyone, feeling safe without taking obvious precautions.
- Quick Intimacy – Wishful thinking and a strong desire to find your love can lead you down a path of disaster.
- Deceptive Appearances – Even a well-dressed professional man can be a rapist.
- Drugs and Alcohol – The number one factor in most date rapes is impaired judgment. Stay sharp and avoid putting yourself at an unnecessary disadvantage.
Warning Signs in Men
For the potential victim, watch for these warning signs in your date partners:
- Pushing intimacy too early
- Overly charming
- Providing too many personal details early in a relationship to entice your trust
- Lying
- Pushes past your no’s, even for the little things like having a bite of dessert
- Buying elaborate expensive gifts with an expectation of return affection
- Controlling of your relationship and dates
- Generally derogatory toward women
Date Rape Prevention
Prevention involves education. Study these warning signs and learn how to avoid hazardous situations. Use some basic self defense and listen to your inner guidance. Follow the subsequent prevention strategies:
- Employ Smart Communication – No means no, say it firmly and clearly.
- Sexual Assertion – Be upfront in your sexual expectations and avoid coy tactics.
- Honest Body Language – Step outside yourself and watch. Are you sending mixed singles to others? Do you want men to be attracted, but also want them to keep their distance?
- Keep Social – Even when dating exclusively, let your friends and family get to know your partner.
- Avoid Isolation – Especially in early dates or first encounters, avoid being completely alone with your date.
- Eliminate Alcohol and Drug Use
- Always Carry a Cell Phone – and use it!
- Classes - Enroll in a self defense course.
- Trust your Instincts – Believe in yourself and act quickly.
Date Rape Drugs
There are three main types of drugs that when combined with an alcoholic drink, will cause a loss of muscle control and consciousness. Known as date rape drugs, they have received plenty of media attention. The drug’s effects set in quickly, so the only protection is to avoid accidental ingestion. When in a party situation, at a bar, or even a first date, guard your drink. Ideally avoid alcohol all together, but also never let someone else “watch” your drink while you use the restroom or offer to go get a drink for you.
After an Assault
Rape is never the victims fault. It is a serious crime with long term consequences. Date rape is even more confusing. Doubt and questions often arise in an acquaintance assault. Remember, physical force is not necessary in a date rape situation. Simply the threat of violence or fear can lead to a date rape. Once sexual penetration happens after the words “no,” it is rape - plain and simple.
Date rape is a traumatic event and should never be taken lightly. If you have been a victim, it is important to do the following immediately after an assault:
- Get to safety.
- Call and report the crime.
- Don’t change clothes, bathe, or even use the bathroom if possible.
- Seek medical help.
- Contact a local rape crisis center.
A recovering victim of any kind of rape situation needs continuing guidance to rebuild self esteem and trust. Seek out counseling, support groups, or Internet sites to start down a healing path.
Learn More
Comments
Hi John,
Your wife has been through something horrible and you are doing just as you should - staying by her side, supporting and comforting her. However, you can only do so much and what she really needs is help from a professional. It's a long road ahead of her to recover from this living nightmare, and she may need medication to help her get through it along with therapy. If she refuses to go, just support her and be patient. She is probably still in shock and she's not ready to work on it. Good luck to her and you...
-- Contributed by: Marcelina Hardymy wife is living a nightmare because of being drugged and raped by six men at the same time i believe this is one of the worst crimes that anyone could commit against anyone she wakes up through the night shaking and crying ,I'm at a loss because there is nothing i can do but hold her and comfort her she is stiff and not able to respond to my touch she feels dirty and worthless can anyone out there that been through anything close to this help her she need to talk to someone she will not seek help from a doctor please if you can reach out help me save my wife her name is Karen she is 30 years old
-- Contributed by: johnmy wife was druged by frinds she trusted she was given drugs over a months time and she just thought she was sleepy all the time six men raped her at the same time they did things to her that she cant deal with i dont know how to help her i love her and know it was not her falt i support her 100% and am trying to help her through this she only remembers little bits of it and says she dont know whats real and whats in her head its not easy to she shacks all over cant sleep when she sleeps she wakes up screeming and i just want to help her is there a group or a woman out there that can talk to her that has been through anything like this please i need help helping my wife i dont want her in anymore pain please help- me
-- Contributed by: john
This page has been accessed 6,667 times. This page was last modified 20:23, 23 October 2008.
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