Conversation Starters

Top Ten Ways to Start Conversation
Top Ten Ways to Start Conversation

Prepare yourself with some conversation starters before the big day and your date will go smoother.

First Date Conversation Starters

Conversation starters can save a date from dragging!

Have you ever experienced a date where you ran out of topics to talk about? Once you gave your pickup line and he said, "yes," you realized how little you know about the other person.

If you are familiar with that queasy feeling in your stomach before a first date, you are not alone. No one wants to spend hours picking out an outfit and trying to impress someone only to meet dead silence for the next few hours. The key is date preparation and good conversation.

Date Preparation

A conversation flows better when both parties are interested in the discussion. If you talk about your interests all night, you may appear boring and self-centered. Find out a little about your date before the big day, to give you an idea of what you have in common. Here are some ideas:

  • Get information from friends or associates you both know.
  • Learn what types of food she likes, so you can pick an appropriate restaurant. You do not want to take your date out to a steak house only to find she is a vegetarian.
  • Find out about his hobbies.
  • Learn if she like sports, and what she does for fun.
  • Ask about his dislikes and if there is anything else you should know.

If you are planning the evening, figure out where you want to take your date. Dinner and a movie is a great first date idea.

Great Conversation Starters

If you are unable to learn about your date before you pick him up, don't panic. Many conversation starters can save the date.

Compliments

When you first meet, say something nice. Comment on his appearance or car. This helps break the ice and lets him know you like him. Be careful not to use "average" words. Most women do not want to hear, "You look nice." Instead, say "Wow! You look…" great, beautiful or fantastic.

Avoid Monopolizing

When you are unsure of what conversation starters to use, it is easy to slip and talk about yourself. Avoid monologues. She wants to get to know you as much as you want to get to know her. Involve your date. When you begin talking about your past, it is easy to get carried away. Instead, give a detail or two, and then ask him about his life. A conversation is between two people. Watch body language for clues.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Asking questions is a great way to learn more about another person. However, be careful not to ask too many. You do not want to make him to feel interrogated. Stick to open-ended questions. Avoid yes/no questions, because these are conversation stoppers. For example:

"Do you like this restaurant?"
"Yes, do you?"
"Yes."
"Great."

An open-ended question gives you ammunition for additional conversation starters. If you keep notes, you may learn something you can use for future dates. Try questions such as:

  • What is your favorite vacation spot?
  • What do you do for fun?
  • If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
  • What is your favorite movie or book?
  • What did you think about the big story in the news?
  • Where did you grow up?
  • What movies do you want to see?
  • What is your favorite restaurant?

Or try comments such as:

  • Tell me about your worst date.
  • Tell me about your job.

The goal of these questions is to find a common bond. Once you find topics you both are excited about, the conversation will flow.

Admit You Are Nervous

It is OK to let your date know you are nervous. He is nervous, also. First dates are always full of surprises. If you find yourself in a rut, let her know how you feel. Chances are he feels the same way, and you both can let your guard down.

Use Humor

A good laugh can help break the ice. Laughter offers a connection. You now have a joke in common.

When using humor, avoid clichés and jokes that are offensive or overdone. Instead, try to say something funny about your situation. If you are not a natural comedian, use it as a basis. "I'd tell you a joke right now, but the only ones I know, I found in my email. You've probably already received them ten times."

More Dating Information

Once you get through the first date, the second date is much easier. Use the information you learn on this date to plan something you know she will love.

Conversation Starters