Becoming a successful chat room flirt isn't as daunting as it may seem at first. In fact, it's not even that different from being a successful flirt in person. Know where to go, stay respectful, show a little personality, and be honest about what you're looking for.
Where to Flirt Online
Technically, you can flirt anywhere, from chat rooms and personal sites to blogs. Some people even meet and flirt in the comments sections on various websites, and then go on to have long-term relationships. If you prefer to jump right into a conversation where flirting is the norm (or at least not unusual), there are a few places to look:
- ICQ Chat: It's been awhile since ICQ's heyday, but they're still around, and you can still use them to meet people. There are rooms divided by location and even a specified "Love Is in the Air" section.
- Chat Avenue: This site has different topics listed so you can find someone with similar interests. That makes it easy to break the ice and flirt to your heart's content.
- WireClub: This site has a place where you can chat privately, meet someone new, and hang out in a designated chat room where you can talk about philosophy, music, or other topics.
- PalTalk: This site has over 5000 rooms. You can do video chats, group chats, and more.
- ChatRandom: If you want to leave whom you meet up to chance, this is the place to go. You can get tossed into a random room with strangers to see if you click with anyone. There are Girls Only and Gay Chat options, too. Though users are encouraged to keep their clothes on, this is still an adults-only chat site.
How to Flirt Online Without Being a Sleaze
So you want to flirt, but you don't want to seem creepy. There are a few ways to flirt. Webcams make it easier because you can actually smile and wink versus using emoticons. However, if a webcam isn't an option, or it makes you uncomfortable to use one, no problem. Flirting online isn't much different than flirting in person. You want to demonstrate that you're a fun person, and let someone know you admire them whether you're online or face to face.
Sometimes, the key to someone's heart is to make them laugh. Flirting is supposed to be fun, so crack some jokes, and let the fun side of your personality shine. You can use this method of flirting on anyone, no matter what your intentions are. This is a great way to break the ice, show off your sense of humor, and see which chat room participants you could really have a connection with.
If someone is using a webcam or posts a picture and you think they're drop-dead gorgeous, give them a compliment. If you're impressed by someone's intelligence, say so. If someone can really make you laugh, tell them. If someone really stands out from the crowd, let them know you noticed them.
A Nicely Worded Blatant Come-On
You could always go beyond the simple compliment and say, "Sexy pic!" or ask what kind of person or type of relationship they're looking for. If you're really interested in someone, it may not hurt to cut to the chase before someone else snatches them up in a private chat. Just don't go overboard. Stay respectful. Don't give them the equivalent of a cat-call on the street.
Match Your Words to Your Intentions
Are you looking for a confidence boost from flirting that goes nowhere? Are you looking for a relationship or a hook-up?
Flirting for Fun
If you're not interested in a relationship or a hook-up, you should probably stick to innocent compliments and witty banter. Asking someone what they're looking for would be pointless and might get their hopes up unnecessarily. If you know you're not going to take the communication past the casual occasional chat in the chat room, keep things light.
Flirting for a Relationship
Here, you should find the things you like about him or her and give compliments based on them. If you think he's got a great smile or her eyes are mesmerizing, start there. Whatever really stands out to you (it could be completely random and something they've never even thought about), comment on it, and make that person feel special. You'll also put yourself in the spotlight as someone who's really paying attention to the little things. If they're interested in a relationship as well, you'll get yourself noticed.
Flirting for a Hook-up
If you're only looking for a hook-up, be honest. Don't lure someone in with sentimental compliments and the illusion of looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. You may not want to say, "I just want to get you into bed," but you can say you're not looking for a serious relationship. Sometimes the best way to flirt when you're looking for a hook-up is with the blatant come-on. "You're sexy! Want to go out?" or "What's your type?" will work.
The Dos and Don'ts of Flirting Online
There are some dos and don'ts of flirting online that may be a little different from flirting in person.
Never, ever give out personal information online. That means you should keep the following things to yourself:
- Where you live (not even the city at first)
- Your current last name or any other last name you've gone by in the past
- Where you work
- Where you go to school
- Your phone number (at least for a while, and don't broadcast it in public chats)
- Any type of personal information, like social security numbers, credit card numbers, etc.
- Where you're going, and when
When You Do Want to Meet
Eventually, you may meet someone online that you want to spend time with in real life. Take the chats to emails and maybe phone calls first. Spend some time there. Then meet somewhere neutral and out in the open (never have someone pick you up at your home right off the bat). For your safety, it's imperative to take these chat room flirtations slowly. Flirt all you want, but when it moves into real life, being cautious is a must. Someone may not be exactly who they said they were, or you may just decide you don't want that second date and they get especially clingy. If they know where you live or work, it makes it much easier for them to harass you or make things more awkward.
Flirting with Honesty
The best thing you can do when you're flirting online is to be honest. If you're looking for any type of relationship at all, you owe it to the other person to be authentic. Hopefully, you'll be getting the same in return. Being honest doesn't mean offering up any information the person you're flirting with asks for, but there's no need to mislead someone into thinking you're interested in things you really don't care about, looking for a long-term relationship if you're not, etc.