Chat Room Flirt

The Rules of Flirting Online

The rules of flirting online are… well, actually, there are no rules! That's not to say that individual sites don't have their own cultures and expectations. But whatever kind of chat room flirting you're looking for, you can find it.

Here are some types of chat room flirt:

• The unsolicited compliment. These include observations like "You have a nice smile," comments on "What an interesting job you have," and responses to your "Amazing profile."
• The come-on. Some people are more blatant with their flirting. These are the kinds of things you might hear at a bar. "Sexy pic!" "Do you like older (or younger) men?" "What are you doing tonight?"
• The straight-up offer. A straightforward offer of sex isn't exactly flirting, but if you prefer to cut to the chase, there are sites out there for you.

If You're Looking for a Relationship

Many dating sites allow you to open a private chat with a person you're interested in. Again, there are no hard and fast rules, but many people who are hoping to find a relationship online prefer subtle flirting. Since forming a relationship is about getting to know the other person, keep your chat room flirt friendly and low-key.

• Don't open with "Hey there" or "Hi" and then wait for a response. It doesn't tell the person why you chose to write, and it doesn't give them any reason to reply.
• Do begin with a sincere compliment. Choose something that's unique about the person, maybe a well-crafted line in a dating profile or the gorgeous mountain scenery in the person's photos.
• Don't overdo it. When you don't already know a person, giving too many compliments can make you look needy, desperate, or insecure about your own life.
• Do offer information about yourself, your interests, and the reasons you think you have something in common.
• Don't fire questions at the other person. It makes you look pushy. It can also make it look like you have something to hide.

If You're After a Hookup

If you're just looking for a hookup, you can be more straightforward. You can contact people directly through private dating site chats or start the conversation in a public room and then move to a private chat.

• Do be confident and friendly. If you've seen a picture of the person you're chatting with, go ahead and comment on their sexy looks.
• Don't be crude. Some people will respond to a "dirty" chat room flirt right away, but many won't. "Hey beautiful!" is more likely to get a response than a direct comment on the person's anatomy.
• Do try to match the other person's comfort level. If you try explicit language and the other person doesn't respond, you'll know they weren't open to the kind of flirting you were after.
• Don't hide your intentions. If you're only looking for a fling, don't pretend you want a relationship. It's not fair to the other person.
• Do stay safe. Meeting in person can be disappointing or even dangerous. WiredSafety.org has some helpful tips for staying safe.

If You Just Want to Flirt Online

There's no harm in going online just to flirt, as long as you're honest about it. If you're in a relationship, your partner may think of chat room flirt as cheating. If you have no intention of meeting the people you're flirting with, be careful not to lead them on.

You may have better luck in group chat rooms than on dating sites. Check out a few singles chat rooms to find one where you feel comfortable. Watch the conversation for a while, and then jump in and say hello. You'll find that the same rules apply: be polite and gentle with people you want to get to know; be as forward or as raunchy as you want to be if an online hookup is all you're after. Just make sure that your flirting matches the general tone of the room.

Where to Look for Chat Room Flirt

Many dating sites offer one-on-one chat. Look for buttons labeled "Talk," "Instant Message," or "IM." The person you're trying to contact will have the option of responding or simply ignoring your message. Some sites also have public chat rooms where many people can participate.

For more public chat rooms, check out the LoveToKnow articles on:

• Free Chat Rooms
• Free Local Chat Rooms
• Singles Chat Rooms

And for special-interest chats, try:

• Christian Chat Rooms
• Gay Chat Rooms
• Lesbian Chat Rooms