Body Language

Reading Body Language

Like it or not, the visual cortex center of our brain is constantly assessing our surroundings. These conscious and unconscious forces affect our feelings and behavior towards others. A general sense of our environment is biological in nature. We monitor events in our atmosphere to ensure we are safe and protected. By tapping into this inner voice, we can hear the message of other’s body language loud and clear.

Self esteem and confidence naturally show in our body language. Improving these areas will help us subcounsciously improve our overall appearance. Mutual attraction is signified by an intense focus and synchrony of movement. By learning the art of reading body language, you can send appropriate signals to your date to improve intimacy and learn to read a potential partner’s subtle signals.

Have you ever met someone and felt they were simply not interested in you, only to receive a call later asking you out? Maybe the opposite has happened. There are many factors that affect our body language and learning some of the basics will help you to better comprehend your signals and receive others.

Personal Space

Everyone has a bubble around them known as their personal space. Depending on your family background and cultural influences, this sense of space can be large or small. It also changes as our relationships change. The physically closer two people become during a conversation, the more intimacy is being shared.

The number one technique to creating a strong impression on others is to respect people’s personal space differences. This is especially significant with interactions among strangers or new acquaintances. If someone steps away from you, it may simply be a space issue and not an issue of attraction.

Another important piece of personal space is leveling. In order to have a comfortable mutual conversation, you need to balance the field. This is accomplished by meeting your partner eye to eye. If you start a dialogue with someone sitting down while you are standing, sit down with them to meet at the same level. This shows interest and is less aggressive or controlling.

Open or Shut

Your body language sends a message instantly whether or not you want someone to approach you or not. Either your body is open or it is shut, depending on the position and movements of your body parts. Common subtle clues are:

• Body Blocking – When you physically move your body toward one person and away from another you are sending the message that you want them out of the conversation.
• Posture – Look at your shoulders, if they are rolled in or turned away, your appearance becomes closed. Open up your posture to showcase an invitation of friendship.
• Eye Contact – Your eyes are vital to opening up your face to others. Eye contact is important, but you should avoid staring intensely.
• Arms – Crossed or uncrossed? Unless you are cold, arms should remain open to show interest in others.
• Leaning – We subconsciously lean towards things we are interested in. When drawing your partner into the conversation, lean towards her. If you are curious how someone is feeling towards you, casually lean back and see if they lean closer in.
• Pointing – Obvious pointing sends a clear message how you feel, but subtle pointing occurs with your body language. With legs crossed, pointing your foot at someone shows interest. When sitting across the table, do her hands casually point in your direction?

Face

The most important body part involved in body language is our face. Our expression is a clear indication of our feelings, something that is difficult for most people to hide. Watch other peoples faces while mingling. Listen to your inner reaction, as your brain can detect emotions that may not be immediately obvious. Genuine smiles, nodding, and the eyes don’t lie. As the windows to our soul, the eyes are the key to it all. Keep an eye on others eyes and their messages will become more authentic.

Hands

Watch someone talk across the room, where you can’t actually hear the words. Then, watch the hands. Can you tell the emotions and intimacy of the interaction simply through the hands? In most cases you can. The hands are an extension of the words; they help the speaker to reflect their emotions. This interface is so strong; we even do it when on the phone, where the other person can’t even see our hands.

Touching with your hands is another indicator of feelings. Look at your partners hands, where are they? When you touch yourself, you are sending messages to others. A common self-caress that signals intimacy is touching your hair, ears, and neck.

Handshakes are another key factor in hand body language. Typically the first physical touch and an indicator of a strong first impression, the handshake is extremely important. Psychologists who have studied handshakes give the following advice:

• The shake should last five seconds.
• Your hand should grab firmly, but not uncomfortably.
• Maintain eye contact while shaking the hand.
• Smile and nod at the other person.
• Start the shake with hand extended, thumb up.
• Only shake with one hand.

Physical Movement

Putting this all together, your overall physical movement is basically your body language signals. Watching others movements, both subtle and obvious, plus remaining conscious of your own, will help improve your interactions with others.

The speed of your movements is an important message dispatcher. Slow and relaxed actions are best. You also want to be somewhat predictable, to create a sense of comfort. It is a sign of intimacy when two people’s movements are synchronized. While this will occur naturally, you can further enhance the process by echoing and mirroring your partner’s physical movement and pace. Don’t be excessive, as true copying will have the opposite effect. Simply casually mimic your partner while talking and watch the interaction grow deeper.

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