Asian Dating
From LoveToKnow Dating
Whether you simply find Asians attractive, or you are Asian and looking for a fellow Asian to build a serious relationship with, Asian dating can help you find your romantic match.
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Traditional Asian Dating
No matter what your nationality, there are a few things you should know about Asian dating traditions that will help things run more smoothly.
Gender Roles
It's important to understand the difference between how men and women are raised in traditional Asian society, because it can affect your dating experience.
- Women are raised to be respectful of men and to defer to them in most matters. The woman's job in the relationship is to take care of the man's daily needs.
- Men are traditionally raised to be providers and to protect the women in their family. They will naturally take the lead in a relationship.
Family Ties
Family ties run deeply within Asian families, and even Americanized single Asians still get a lot of input on their dating partners from well-meaning parents. This means that when you date an Asian, you will likely be dating his or her parents to a certain extent. Expect to be thoroughly scrutinized, although it will be done respectfully. Parents want to be sure the person their child is dating is safe and suitable.
For your part, be sure to show respect for the feelings of your date's parents. This will assure them of your honorable intentions toward their child and will help smooth the path for further relationship development in case the two of you hit it off.
Note: It should also be mentioned that arranged marriages take place frequently in traditional Asian culture. Parents may actually choose who their child will marry, and the choice is made based on compatible culture and values, as well as financial circumstances. Age of the potential partners and, to some extent, physical attraction to one another may also be taken into consideration, but a child is expected to honor and obey their parents' decision.
Respect and Honor
Honor is everything in Asian society, so it's crucial to conduct yourself respectfully.
- Be on your best behavior: This means use your manners at all times and be thoughtful of your date's needs and concerns. Listen attentively when your date speaks to you, even if you are a little bored with the topic. Be willing to do some of the things he/she likes instead of just things that interest you.
- Be honest: Don't exaggerate about your education, financial situation or your employment prospects. If you've been married before, be up front about it and let your partner decide if continuing the acquaintance is in everyone's best interest.
- Never push the relationship too quickly: The quickest way to scare off a new partner is to try and maneuver him/her into the bedroom. It shows disrespect for the person and is often a real deal breaker. Many traditional Asians will choose to save the sexual relationship until after marriage, so know what you are looking for in the relationship before you begin. If you want a relationship with the potential to last, take the time to get to know your partner. Learn about his/her likes, dislikes and interests, even if you don't share all of the same views.
Culture
Asian families put a great store in their cultural traditions, so expect to be included at celebrations and ceremonies. It doesn't hurt you to attend, even if you don't hold the same beliefs, and you may find the experience enlightening as well as entertaining. Just remember to behave politely and all should go well.
Does this mean you have to give up your own customs and traditions? No. Respect and honor is a two way street, and your partner and his/her family should be considerate of you as well.
Modern Asian Dating
Many families of Asian decent have lived in the West for generations and no longer follow many of the traditional Asian dating traditions. People can meet and date whoever interests them, and sex may or may not be part of the equation. Families may not be as involved with who their children choose to date, but you can still expect them to show ordinary parental interest and concern.
Dating Online
Many online dating sites cater to targeted Asian dating, so people wanting to date within their culture have the opportunity to connect with a wide variety of people who not only share their heritage but also share some of the same hobbies, values and interests. Most online dating services give members the opportunity to fill out questionnaires about themselves. These questionnaires give other menbers a better idea of who they are. The profiles are then posted and singles can request to meet specific members that they find interesting.
Conclusion
When you think about it, many of the traditions involved in Asian dating transfer nicely to all dating situations, regardless of nationalities, religions and anything else that divides us. Honesty, respect and consideration are the hallmarks of any healthy and lasting relationship.
External Links
- Asian Dating Services for Asian American dating, Asian singles, online personals, as well as Asian brides and marriage.
- Cupid.com's Asian dating community
- Asia FriendFinder, another source for meeting Asian singles
Learn More
Comments
Dear Kelly- Your comment made in the women gender role of "defering to a man" just pushed back the role of women back 100 years. It was an inaccurate generalization that conveniently placed the stereotype of the meek and demure image of the jasmine flower into those who don't take time to know the person as an individual but to group that person based upon their cultural background. For shame! What's next? Bringing back the feet binding practice? Get with the times- this is the 21st century. Please don't assume all of us Asian women scrub the backs of their men every night- they scub ours. Onwards!
-- Contributed by: Alee
This page has been accessed 5,729 times. This page was last modified 16:40, 10 August 2006.
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